Back to Work

My maternity leave is coming to an end. I go back to work on Monday and I am happy and sad. On one hand, I really enjoyed spending time with my children. I got to know Maia more intimately than I ever imagined during this time, which has made me love and respect her more. I also got to start learning about Akai and his unique personality, which has been a total joy. On the other hand, I really like feeling valued by people outside of my family. I also like being able to get out of the house and communicate with a group of adults. Working hard, learning new skills, completeing goals is very rewarding to me and I don't have the same sense of accomplishment at home that I do at work.

Sometimes, I wonder if it would benefit my children more if I stayed at home. Maybe it would benefit Akai. I do believe that the first year of life is the time that you set the foundation for your future relationship. It is about trust building, encouragement, and being close (to me anyways). However, there are many advantages for them when I work. When it is not required that I am taking care of them, I choose to be around them more when I can. And this time after work or on the weekends is largely spent playing with them instead of a usual routine that I think many stay-at-home mom's get into. I think that I would fall into this routine easily and instead of asking how I can be around them more, I would ask how can I spend more time away from them.

I would like to think that I am providing them with a good influence, as well. It is important and sometimes necessary for mothers to work. They may have a better understanding of this in the future if I continue to work.

Another huge benefit that I see is that my children have three mothers. They are cared for by two of the most loving grandmothers around. I have watched (sometimes jealously) my mom and mother-in-law take care of Maia over the last three years. The bonds that she has made with each of them are irreplaceable. Plus, she has learned things from them that I would not be able to instill in her. I know that this has made her a happier child and hope that the same will be the case for Akai. We are incredibly lucky to have them (and the grandfathers) in our lives.

I will go back to work and enjoy it even if a little reluctantly. Thanks for reading.

I love you, Babies!